Damage

As you read this, imagine how your reaction would differ if this story were being told by a woman, talking about how her husband treated her.

I have been separated from my wife for over a year, though we continue to share a house. We live on separate floors. We share the house because we need to parent our son together, and because we can’t afford to maintain two households.

I’d like to tell you a story, illustrating one reason why I am divorcing her. This is an example of the treatment I have received over the past fourteen years.

This evening, while she was drinking her wine, my estranged wife took exception to the fact that I wanted to talk about how tense she’s been. She said she didn’t want to talk about it.

I left the room (so as to comply with her request).

I went upstairs to use our tiny guest bathroom. She began to yell and throw things around the kitchen, then eventually charged up the stairs and into the bathroom, just as I was finishing and getting ready to leave. She confronted me there, holding her half-full wine glass in her hand. Her voice got louder, her gestures wilder. 

She complained that I had upset her by wanting to talk when she had told me she didn’t want to talk. As I began to feel uncomfortable, I said, “You’re saying it’s my fault you can’t express your emotions responsibly like an adult?”

She said, “Yes!! It’s because you want to go off and take a vacation with your girlfriend!” Then she threw the contents of her glass in my face and smashed it against my bare chest.

The results are pictured here.

I stood there, with shattered glass at my feet, glass shards sticking in my skin, bleeding, for five minutes or so. I asked her to move so that I could leave. She waved the broken stem of the glass in the air and said, “Leave!! Who’s stopping you?”

I told her she was standing between me and the door. I felt threatened. 

She laughed and said, “You’re 6 foot 3 and 250 pounds! You can’t feel threatened by me!”

I said, “You just broke a glass on my chest and cut me. You’re standing there with the stem in your hands. Yes. I feel threatened.”

She said, “No, you don’t.”

I asked her to move out of the way and let me pass. I didn’t want her to think I was pushing her or threatening her.

She held her ground, waved the broken stem and shouted, “Go on! Leave! I’m not stopping you!”

After I asked her repeatedly, she finally moved a bit and I left, carefully stepping over the broken glass.

I have posted this here as evidence, and to help those who may think that size and gender make a difference when abuse is concerned. People who, like my estranged, think some have permission to feel threatened and some don’t.

Abusers come in all sizes and genders.

She and I went to a half dozen therapists over the years. At each initial session, every therapist took a look at me, then at her (5’4” 150 lbs.). Then he or she would gravely ask my wife, “Do you feel safe?”

None ever thought to ask me.

(Source: an0m0ly)

murderotic:

murderotic:

This give away contains:

• 1 studded belt from lindex (the only thing in this give away I’ve actually used more than once)
• 1 dress in size 8 from club L (think it’s a uk size 8, small) (used once)
• 1 jumpsuit size 36 from gina tricot (used once)
• 1 bag from H&M (never used)
• 1 skirt size small from nelly trend (only tried it on)
• 1 beauty powder “porcelain pink” from MAC (never used)
• 1 lipstick “such flare” from MAC (never used)

If you have any questions just drop by my ask box ^-^ Also I know I forgot the leopard shorts/panties but I couldn’t find them. I’ll have another give away some other time when I’ve found them :D

Only 8 hours left ^-^

Shahrukh Khan - minimalist film posters

(Source: imzyzia)

murderotic:

This give away contains:

• 1 studded belt from lindex (the only thing in this give away I’ve actually used more than once)
• 1 dress in size 8 from club L (think it’s a uk size 8, small) (used once)
• 1 jumpsuit size 36 from gina tricot (used once)
• 1 bag from H&M (never used)
• 1 skirt size small from nelly trend (only tried it on)
• 1 beauty powder “porcelain pink” from MAC (never used)
• 1 lipstick “such flare” from MAC (never used)

If you have any questions just drop by my ask box ^-^ Also I know I forgot the leopard shorts/panties but I couldn’t find them. I’ll have another give away some other time when I’ve found them :D